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Parents often wonder why children behave the way that they do. Some parents blessed with a 'matched set' - a boy and a girl, maybe particularly curious about why sons and daughters behave differently.
Defining clear differences between male and female children is a complex exercise because each child is an individual.
Personalities and individuality notwithstanding, recent studies have shown that there are, indeed, some differences between the way the brains of boys and girls are wired. That might help to explain the differences in behaviour often noted by educators and parents.
Is that all there is to the topic? A few differently-connected synapses and hormone levels?
This post lifts the covers on child behaviour and gives some insight into the world of childhood. This is especially useful for parents and educators who work with different genders.
New Findings on Gender Differences
Not terribly long ago - right around the time Boy George made his case for androgyny, many psychologists believed that changing how we raised children (i.e. by eliminating established stereotypes) would lead to more uniform behaviour between the two sexes. They didn't just believe it, they advocated for it.
As recently as the 1980s, gender differences were often chalked down to artificial constructs of society.
However, through ongoing research, the scientific community has at least partially debunked this theory. A report published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that behaviour and personality traits generally broke along gender lines (in university-aged and adult subjects) across a multitude of cultures.
Some 26 distinct cultures were analysed during this study, including those from the USA and various countries in Europe and across Asia.
According to that study, women valued themselves more on the 'agreeableness' and 'openness to feelings' scales while men rated themselves higher in qualities such as assertiveness. Interestingly - and opposed to the social construct theory mentioned above, these and other gender differences were most strongly reported in the American and European cultures, in which traditional gender roles are minimised.
In younger populations, science points further to clearly defined differences.
In his report, Gender Differences in Personality: a Meta-Analysis, Alan Feingold notes some of these differences: girls put higher demands on themselves, for instance, and they are more critical of themselves and their work.
They also obtain better marks across the spectrum of school subjects, in all age groups. Despite this fact, girls are generally less confident about their abilities and boys usually have higher self-esteem.
In an interesting report published in the Journal of Educational Psychology, Eva Pomerantz notes: “Girls are more vulnerable to internal distress than boys… girls doing poorly in school were the most vulnerable to internal distress. However, even girls doing well in school were more vulnerable than boys were.”
By contrast, boys often overestimate their achievements. The report noted that, while girls tend to take failure more seriously (i.e. poor marks mean that they have disappointed parents), boys often see the problem as being limited to the particular topic/subject they have failed. It is good to know what to say if your children fail their exams, remembering that females may take things more to heart.
Female students tend to generalise failure, relating a poor result to their general academic abilities regardless of how academically accomplished they are.
All of these findings are the result of one study, and it is important to point out that they are merely patterns, it does not mean that every single person will fall into the stereotypes, of course.
Where the Nature v. Nurture Debate Fits In
The debate rages on about how much of our psychological makeup is influenced by our environment and how much is the way we're made. The video below does a great job of breaking down a lot of the differences between males and females when it comes to education.
A particularly dramatic instance of how environmental factors impact a child's ability to thrive in infancy is the sad plight of Romanian orphans.
The story exploded into the global consciousness in October 1990, after an American television show reported its investigative findings. Children, deprived of even basic human contact and left to lie abed suffered from severe delays in their cognitive development. Some could not even feed themselves.
The orphanages made no distinctions between genders. All children, male and female, routinely had their heads shaved. They were usually left unclothed and, when bathed, were often bathed three or four at the same time. Because the children were routinely abused, as they grew older, they turned into abusers - no matter if they were a boy or a girl.
The Romanian Orphans case remains today the most extreme example of nurture - or, in this case, the lack thereof, and its effects on child development.
The difference between those orphans and children in modern society is that today's kids have been treated to at least some gender affirmation, if only passively, since birth.
Girls wear dresses and boys wear trousers. Girls' toys tend to be packaged all pink and glittery; boys' toys tend to have more masculine themes. Girls wear their hair long and boys... usually don't. These distinctions can be seen everywhere - on the telly, in street adverts and in the way people act/respond to/treat any child of a given gender.
As we mentioned before, previous studies have proven that such passive gender reinforcements have little to do with how males' and females' brains are wired - the nature part of the equation. However, they have a great deal of impact on how our children come to believe they should operate in society.
The Need for Different Approaches
Parents and educators are coming to a growing awareness that something needs to change. Teachers, especially, realise that they may benefit from varying their teaching strategies to boost a child’s grades. Girls may benefit from greater support and acceptance so that they can internalise that failure at one attempt is no reflection of their general ability.
Boys, on the other hand, may benefit from less permissiveness - that 'boys will be boys' attitude. Furthermore, helping them redefine their attitude from 'sure win' to 'work harder' is vital. In essence, some boys need to learn that all of their confidence will have little value if, in the long run, their grades do not reflect the abilities they profess to have.
Additional differences which have been observed between boys and girls include boys’ preference for physical activities - the 'little bruiser' trope. Psychologists at Cambridge University have noted that boys prefer to view mechanical (rather than human) motion; they also tend to intuit and/or devise mechanical solutions faster rate than girls. Nature? Nurture?
How likely is it that daughters are invited into Dad's workshop, as sons often are? Wouldn't it stand to reason that if young females gained such exposure, that they too might become more mechanically inclined?
Boys are said to be more likely to engage in risk-taking behaviour and less likely to be fearful of loud noises or stimuli. How much of that is due to boys being encouraged to take risks while still toddlers - something girls are generally discouraged from doing, is not known.
On a rather interesting note - as if all of this weren't already interesting enough, scientists have observed that, in adolescence, the connections between the emotional and language centres of the brain in girls result in more developed language, reasoning and reflection abilities.
This process occurs later in boys, which could be one of the reasons for their greater physicality. Things like falling in love are very different for boys and girls at a young age, and they will often react with different levels of emotional maturity.
Can Gender Differences Wholly Explain Behaviour?
The difference in physicality mentioned above can manifest itself in more ways than the academic one – i.e. boys may be less vocal in expressing their concerns, frustrations or happiness but they get into physical fights more often. They also tend to resolve conflicts quicker. Self-help books for teenagers can be extremely helpful, but some are much more appropriate for boys and others suit girls better.
Girls, who already have the jump on communication and the ability to define their thoughts and feelings more concisely, may take longer to think things over before taking an issue out or letting it go. They are also more likely to need to talk their thoughts through - maybe with a friend or school counsellor before any steps can be taken toward conflict resolution.
The video above shows what a hugely controversial field of research this is, and what some of the research has found about male brains and female brains.
Here again, differentiated teaching and effective classroom management can solve many such mini-crises as they arise. By grouping students of varying academic and personal strengths and adopting student-led instruction initiatives, you will pave the way for a positive learning experience for all.
A Quick Look at Matriarchal Societies
Despite Finland recently making headlines for being governed by females under 30, overwhelmingly, almost every country on the planet is patriarchal - led and/or influenced by males. Still, within those countries exist societies led by women.
These matriarchal societies have vastly different personality profiles for males and females.
From a young age, females are encouraged to be assertive and adventurous. They are imbued with a sense of responsibility toward their values and mores and are more prone to reasoning conflicts out than allowing belligerence to rule the day.
Males in such societies do not necessarily play a lesser role; their functions are seen as vital to the continuation of the society and, while their input might not have as much weight in government or legal matters, it nevertheless does.
In matriarchies, female children are trained to assume leadership roles from an early age. They are also indoctrinated in their legends and lore; they are responsible for seeing the continuation of traditions and the establishment of new ones.
Here again, we see how the difference in nurturing and one's early-life conditioning can help shape future actions and capabilities - indeed, one's entire self-perception.
The Need to be Wary of Discrimination
It is important to note that gender disparities are strongest in primary school.
Over the past few decades, during which 'culture wars' - for lack of a better term - have moved to the forefront of political and legislative agendas, gender differences (and, as a whole, gender identification) have intensified.
An interesting article in TIME magazine noted that boys are graded lower than girls, even in subjects such as maths and science, even when their test scores are equal to or higher than those of girls.
If that were all to the story, it would seem a clear-cut case of discrimination against male students... until the article goes on to disclose that teachers assigned boys who behave well in class higher grades than the girls get - even though they scored lower on exams!
That would indicate that boys' behaviour is given out-sized merit, especially when you factor in that those boys who earned lower overall grades despite scoring as well as female students on exams were constant class disruptors. Either way, girls got no more - and no less merit than was warranted.
Is Gender Crucial in Education?
Gender can help us to gain some understanding of how young people's brains might work, but every single person is different, and stereotypes are rarely helpful in education.
Educators should focus less on gender and more on individual children - i.e.: well-behaved boys should not be rewarded unless comparatively-behaved girls will be, too. Moreover, there are many other important considerations educators need to take into account when teaching a group of children. These include learning styles and preferences, different home environments, special educational needs, etc.
Studies into gender psychology, physiology and academic performance have certainly yielded some interesting findings. They are not always conclusive and there are a lot of generalisations.
Do these insights resonate with you? If so, please feel free to tell us what you think via the comments box below.
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