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Christmas present

Looking for some inspiration for that special Christmas present for that special teacher?

Here are some lighthearted suggestions:

  • Alcohol. They’ve been teaching you or your little dears, they need it. Not just a bottle of nasty Lambrusco – a good bottle of wine, a pack of Stella for the PE teacher, what more could the they require to recover over the holiday period?
  • A box of ultra-balm tissues and a packet of flu tablets. We all know how, just when you’re exhausted and you absolutely have to stop work for a bit and relax, the most vicious viruses strike – particularly at Christmas when you have to deal with the entire, irritating family descending on your house.
  • A novel about teaching jolly kids in the Yorkshire Dales. You know the ones. This may well help the teacher appreciate the sarcasm and urban realism of their actual pupils, who will come as something of a relief after all the cuteness
  • An apple. Bit clichéd? We suggest avoiding an actual granny smith fruit, and going for the perfume in an apple-shaped bottle, or indeed any other beautifully packaged fragrance which will help block out the whiff of Year 10 after they have returned to class following games. Note, male teachers may prefer aftershave.
  • A microwaveable/freeze-able sprain pad. These will come in handy either for warming the back of a very tense neck after a long day in school, or placing, deliciously cold, on the forehead to ward of fits of anti-pupil hysteria (or indeed, to salve shin wounds inflicted ‘accidentally’ by passing hockey sticks/football boots on the pitch).
  • A pay rise. Not on the board of governors? Get lobbying.
  • An enormous set of coloured felt pens. Pupils can look forward to psychedelic marking schemes, colour-coded revision charts or nicely coloured-in folders. Male teachers in particular can be encouraged to get in touch with their feminine, colouring-in side.
  • A CD of Chicago, Hairspray or Dirty Dancing (or Les Mis for the language teachers). Singing along to musicals in the car at top volume is deeply therapeutic and may ultimately benefit students by lowering their teacher’s boiling-over point.
  • A chemistry set. Yes, for the science teachers. Just think of the fun they will have reverting to childhood and performing all those experiments they haven’t seen for years and which may well have inspired their teaching career. Might help them recover their enthusiasm for teaching your grumpy lot, you never know.
  • A personalised card. Not one from a website where you just fill in the name, but a card that has been crafted by hand for the teacher in question. This really will mean something.

I hope that you have found these suggestions useful. If you have any christmas gift ideas of your own, why not share them with us below.

 

 

 

 

 

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