It happens to the best of us. In the run-up to our exams, we spend every evening and most of the weekend on revision. The night before the exam, we lay out our clothes and make sure all our things are packed - pencils, student ID and everything else. We aim for maximum sleep time, wake up, head to the exam centre and do our best. When you step into that room, you should:

  • have a test-taking strategy in place
  • read and understand the instructions
  • read through the exam before answering the first question
  • don't get frustrated if you get stuck
  • forget any thoughts of failing

Coping with failure doesn't come naturally to all. You've sat plenty of exams, from the most insignificant test to the most important exam. The knock in confidence from a bad grade can take the wind out of our sails. In extreme cases, it can leave us feeling embarrassed, angry and depressed. How can we deal with that and still carry on?

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What's the Point of Exams?

You're probably not the first student who has wondered why we have to sit exams. After all, if schools were confident they were teaching us well, would we need to be tested? And what do those tests reveal, exactly? Are we simply not learning or are educators forced to confront their inability to teach effectively?

A black and white snap of student dressed in school uniform in a classroom taking an exam.
Students have been sitting exams since the dawn of compulsory education. Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash

And then, there's the third option: students fail to perform as expected. In other words, students gave a technically correct answer but should have elaborated more. Maybe the student gave a general answer but should have been more precise. Or students explained the fundamentals of an essay question but didn't write enough to address the question's intent in full.

If you're preparing to sit GCSEs, you likely downloaded past exam papers. Did you also read the examiner's reports? Throughout those documents, you'll read what students did and didn't do well, and what they could have done better. You'll read many of the same reasons for low-point awards as the ones listed in the previous paragraph. This begs the question: are these ordeals a test of knowledge or a test of expectations?

They're both, and that's the point. Obviously, you have the knowledge; you've proven that through your classwork and participation. But can you communicate that knowledge effectively? Can you use it well, knowing you won't get any immediate feedback on your performance? In a broad sense, sitting GCSEs prepares you for your working life, where your performance will be measured in much the same way. Everything from earnings to advancement depends on how well you meet or exceed expectations.

Students sitting in GCSEs serve the school, too. For instance, if most students miss questions related to a certain topic, that curriculum aspect is clearly not presented well. Let's take a maths topic as our example. Few students scored well on questions related to ratios and proportions. Clearly, the curriculum must be a fault, right? It's doubtful that, across the country, every student slept through that lesson.

You could rightly conclude, then, that exams don't test only you; they test the teachers and curriculum, too. This is a vital part of exam-taking. It's how education authorities learn they're doing a good job and have qualified materials to teach from. Even if one student group from one school fails to demonstrate competence in a particular topic, the logical weak point would be the teacher. Too bad such would result in your classmates all feeling down about their poor showing.

What Is Classed As A Failure?

For some, scraping through a GCSE exam with a 4, or 'standard pass', is a success. For others, it can be a massive disappointment to not get that top grade. But who is it (other than the exam boards, of course) that defines the deficiency? Is it you putting pressure on yourself? Do you have to get outstanding results because they can open up many doors and make others proud (or envious) of you? Or is it perhaps your parents or peers piling on the pressure, making you hungry to be the best?

The good news is that, in most cases, all of this pressure is well-intended. Those around you love you and want to see you reach your absolute best. That way, you can so look back and not feel disappointed that you didn't do better. Often, you do this to yourself, and it's not a bad thing. Sometimes we put a lot of pressure on ourselves because we have that much confidence and self-respect. That can only be a positive thing.

Beware, though, that there's a world of difference between confidence and cockiness. If you're confident in your capabilities and yet find yourself defeated, you may be only partly responsible. But if you swagger in thinking that, of course, you'll ace that test - and don't... You need to consider taking a larger share of the blame onto yourself. Attitude is everything, as the saying goes, but a cocky attitude is often a fast track to defeat.

Exam boards set grade boundaries to provide a benchmark for people taking tests. Grade inflation is a common GCSE complaint. Setting boundaries is meant to prevent that from happening. Once all the papers are marked, the boundaries are set to encompass the highest to lowest marks.

This type of norm-referenced testing means that, by default, marks are sometimes adjusted and an A* is not a given for everyone. You may have insured yourself against making silly mistakes on your exam. But, once again, we find that there is some arbitrariness to marking. Yet another factor of GCSE results completely out of our control!

When it comes down to it, some people are just academically inclined. So as long as you can honestly say that you worked as hard as you could, no one will see your efforts as a deficiency. You shouldn't, either. Even if an admissions officer or recruiter further down the line sees you have not met official requirements, there are ways around that. Showing your drive and passion in other areas, maybe through a volunteer initiative, is one particularly good workaround. Re-sitting an exam to prove you can meet the grades with a little extra push is another.

A dark-haired young woman bites her right hand's small fingernail while her friend smiles and whispers something in her ear.
Being nervous can really affect how you perform in an exam. Photo credit: Irene Bonacchi on VisualHunt / CC BY-ND

What is the True Meaning of Fail and Pass?

Throughout our lives, we’re told that we’re worth far less if we don’t do well in school. We’re told that everything we amount to is based on a 1 hour paper in an exam hall. We’re never given the opportunity or the language to articulate otherwise or to challenge this narrative.

Your value is more than an exam paper or an essay assignment. You’re the sum of all your experiences, all your relationships and all of your associations. You amount to all of your talents, your laughter, your sadness and what you find joy in. You add value to yourself by what you consider important and unimportant, and what you believe in. Only you have the right to define who you are and what you’re worth.

Intelligence is a spectrum that cannot be determined by school examinations alone.

Your intelligence is in everything you do. It imbues every skill you have that might not be quantified as ‘valuable’ intellect in school. Your intelligence manifests in the ideas, thoughts and expressions that mean something to you. That's the most important thing to remember.

But then, you have to wait for the exam results. That's the time when doubt starts creeping in. When you feel like you won’t amount to anything. That your deficiencies will be your inevitable downfall. That's the time you should be the kindest to yourself.

It may sound silly or a little over-simplistic, but you would be surprised how harsh people are on themselves in anticipation of a fall. And how much worse does that vicious downturn get when a loss actually manifests? That's exactly why, in those times when scathing thoughts are darting around your mind and slashing at your self-esteem, you must remember to be kind to yourself.

You are worthy. You are intelligent. You are valuable. You tried hard but, for whatever reason didn't succeed. It might have been too much anxiety or too little revision. It could have been equal parts a lacking curriculum and a wanting teacher. But despite the circumstances, you managed to get into that exam hall - even though you felt like that was the last place you wanted to be.

To you who have felt that you are not enough: be kind, and remember that you ARE enough. You can jump whatever hurdles are in your path. You just have to not let go of the confidence that saw you sashay into the examination centre. And how do you maintain (or obtain) that level of confidence, positivity and optimism? Let us explain.

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How to Remain Optimistic After Failing an Exam

It might help you to realise that some of the greatest minds ever to grace this green earth have suffered setbacks in their time. It’s a perfectly natural part of life and learning. Of course, knowing that doesn't lessen your anxiety any. So here are mental health professionals’ top tips for coping with exam defeat. And to keep things interesting, they're laced with historical missteps that prove we all have our bad days.

The Talking Cure

The worst thing you can do when you’ve suffered a setback is crawl into your shell. Bottling up your thoughts and feelings doesn't work either, nor does being blasé or nonchalant about things. Hard as you may find it, chat it out with your nearest and dearest.

Your family and friends' support will see you through the worst of your tough time. Teachers are always there to offer a helping hand, too. Remember that they share your guilt and have a part in where you went wrong. They don't like to fail any more than you do so they will work hard to build you up for your next effort.

You might take a gander online, while you're at it. There are forums and web spaces where students in the same situation share their worries. Why not try chatting with kindred spirits at The Student Room? Or maybe your gaming crowd, if you game...

From history: Failing an exam doesn’t mean you’re going to drop out – unlike one Bill Gates who dropped out of Harvard in 1975, only to become one of the richest people in the world.

Weigh It Up

After any defeat, it always helps to take a step back and weigh your options. Can you retake the exam? Can you improve in other areas to bring your grades up to scratch? Explore all the pathways open to you before doing anything rash.

From history: Henry Ford’s first foray into business,  the Detroit Automobile Co., dissolved in 1901 when customers complained of high prices and low quality. A year later, his second company, the Henry Ford Co., was dissolved due to a dispute with a consultant. Don’t let defeat break you – when was the last time you saw a Ford? Today, right?

A boxing gym with a well-used speedbag hanging in the foreground and the rink pictured out of focus in the background
Sometimes the harder you fall the stronger you come back fighting. Photo credit: aberrocreative on VisualHunt / CC BY

Pack Up Your Troubles

Having reconciled yourself to the fact that you got it wrong this time round and weighed up your next move, steel yourself and get ready to bounce back. Put the past to bed and focus on getting right next time. Plan on either retaking this exam or signing up for the next exam on the horizon. Focus on the future and don’t look back.

From history: despite being a Maths whizz, Albert Einstein was very poor at language. Initially, the Federal Polytechnic Academy rejected his application due to poor marks in non-science-related subjects. Everyone has strengths. Everyone has weaknesses.

Focus On Yourself

Pressure to pass tests and exams bombard children from all angles as they learn. It’s not only the schools' expectations, though. Often, the pressure to perform to the standards expected by your parents can be overbearing and cause unnecessary stress. That makes exam review harder and sends student anxiety through the roof.

The remedy? Be true to yourself; be realistic. Of course, you want to do well but don’t let others' hopes and aspirations bear down on you too hard. It’s you who has to sit the paper and you with the most to lose. And you stand to gain the most from your ordeal, pass or fail. So set the bar as high or low as you’re capable of clearing.

From history: Despite twisting his melon around one of the greatest theories in world history, Charles Darwin had a somewhat inauspicious start in life. Lambasted by his father and his teachers, failing medical school.

Moving Away From Failure

Some say that failure is merely an upside-down opportunity. There's a lot of truth to that. We only need to think about the typical student trajectory, post-GCSE. Once grades are published, you can start applying for your place in college. Once you're accepted, you have two more years of studying ahead of you. And then, it's off to university, with anywhere from three to eight more years of classes.

But you didn't get the marks needed to secure your place in Sixth Form. Now what? Here is where you welcome the tide of opportunities headed your way. You might look for part-time work or volunteer opportunities in your community while still attending classes to prepare for your next go at GCSEs. Or you might secure a full-time apprenticeship, provided your employer isn't insistent on academic prowess.

The Department for Education (DfE) says English students have to keep in a formal learning situation until they're 18. It presents those three avenues specifically to maximise your chances of finding what you want to do, moving forward. Unfortunately, because of that mandate, taking a gap year at this point is not an option for GCSE hopefuls.

You will have to re-sit GCSEs lest you be labelled a school leaver - a move that would drastically reduce your chances at a stable future. Re-sitting is not a bad thing. To borrow from Americans, it won't be your first rodeo. You're in tune with what to expect. Your anxiety will likely be lower than on your first go. And your revision... Let's talk about restructuring your review and maybe getting a little extra help.

Support to do Better Next Time

Your last GCSE go-round might not have succeeded in part because of a poor study plan. Did you have a schedule set up? Did you stick with it? Did you do as so many other students do - revise your favourite subjects more than the ones you weren't keen on?

Did you and your mates form study groups? Or, at least a 'study-buddy' system where, when one of you wasn't 'feeling it', you could get help and support from the rest of the group? What about your family? Did you share your revision schedule with them and tell them you'll be off-limits during study time? Did they give you the type of support you needed, as much as you needed?

Not that anyone is knocking parents or other anxiously hovering adults. As mentioned before, much of their helicopter comes from their desire to see you succeed. Whether on their terms or yours is up to you.

What about your teachers? Do you have one or two you could turn to for help and support? Does your school have an advisor or counsellor? Is there a peer-tutoring program you might register with? That would be a brilliant confidence booster! You could tutor in subjects you're good in and get tutoring in those subjects that didn't see your best efforts in GCSEs.

Have you thought about private tutoring? An academic coach or test prep tutor could help you get your studies on track. They're familiar with the exams and have lots of learning materials to share with you. Each lesson could start with simply talking over exam aspects that make you nervous, including the possibility of failing.

Your tutor could go over your study plan and help work out its bugs. They could introduce you to loads of apps, utilities and web-based tools to guide your studies. And, of course, they would battle the bane of every student: procrastination. With a regularly-expected tutor, you'll be less likely to put off studying. And you'll probably focus on your study materials much more intensely.

Actor Harrison Ford, wearing a black tuxedo with a white shirt and bowtie, standing in front of a background full of brand names
The great Harrison Ford was a dropout but still went on to find fortune and fame! Photo credit: Gage Skidmore on Visual Hunt / CC BY-SA

Historic Figures Who Failed Exams Yet Went On to Succeed

Finally, let us give you some examples of renowned names who actually weren't very successful at school at all but still went on to find greatness doing something they love.

Steve Jobs, Founder of Apple: dropped out of Reed College after only six months because of the financial strain it placed on his parents. Fred Astaire's first screen test evaluation read: “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Balding. Can dance a little.” Oof! Harrison Ford, Actor: The Star Wars and Indiana Jones star majored in philosophy at Ripon College but dropped out before graduating. He never starred in a film about exam failure but his many characters have shown plenty of deficiencies.

And finally, one of today's most inspirational public figures: Greta Thunberg. We don't have her exam pass rate but we do know she is autistic and battles obsessive-compulsive disorder as well as selective mutism. We could also say she suffers from a failure to fail. She exploded onto the world stage when she was only 15 - still a school student. She lets no limitation stand in her way of trying to make the world a livable place for generations to come.

There you have it: conclusive proof that you don't have to have sky-high grades to reach for the sky!

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Emma

I am passionate about traveling and currently live and work in Paris. I like to spend my time reading, gardening, running, learning languages, and exploring new places.